Grandma tales

Spencer and Margaret go to a vaudeville-Shakespeare review a the Clandestine Dinner Theater over on Eighth Ave

The first act is Morty Smack from Chicago. He’s been in the business for over sixty years.

My grandmother had two jokes.

When we’d go to her house for Sunday dinner, she’d say to me, “Eat every carrot and pea on your plate.”

The second one I didn’t understand until I was nine years old, even though I’d heard it, probably a hundred times, before that.

A woman stands outside the Catholic Church, about to go in. A bus pulls up in front of the church, another woman exits, and comes running up the steps toward her and asks, “Is mass out?”
The first woman replies, “No, but your hat’s on crooked.”

Ta dum dum. Thank you very much.